A Mcdonald’s in Malta and a BAD Banana Boat Ride- June 25th 2014

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Today we visited Malta, a tiny island that’s its own country! There are many unique things about Malta that I think are worthwhile to share with you.

Such as: they drive on the opposite side of the street so obviously the steering wheels are on the opposite side as well. Rabbit is a maltese specialty, and I think they serve it with potatoes and onions and parsely and such and even in stews! There is a city called Mdine which has years and years of history and it’s known as the “Silent City” and it literally looks so beautiful and old that you would think it’s a set in Universal Studios, and people STILL live in there! The main religion of the country is Catholic and inside Mdina there is a convent where about 7 or 8 nuns live and their vow to God is that they don’t and never will come out. Plus no men are allowed in there except the doctor and two other men of a certain occupation that I forget (probs a priest and one other). OH and family relatives can visit but physical contact is absolutely not allowed. OH and the nuns who live there live alone and talk to each other through bars. Pretty much sounds like prison, but worse. Like sorry but that’s absolutely miserable and that’s probably ignorant to say but I mean they are literally sitting in a lifeless, never-changing convent while the world around them is constantly changing and thriving and full of color and life that they are depriving themselves of, LITERALLY. WHY!? I guess I am too young and naive to understand. Hm.

We couldn’t visit the Blue Grotto because apparently the waters were too rough, which was a bummer because that’s the main attraction. BUT, we still did go to a beach I believe called the Golden Bay and I have another Ali story in which I found myself another problem (but not as bad as the Vine incident with the crazy daughter and iphone in Athens YIKES):

So the boys all decided it would be fun to rent a banana boat (those long hot dog looking floaties that seat like 9 people) and go take it for a ride. So Allie and I are like “why not!” because we thought we would just be floating on it around the ocean. BUT INSTEAD, it is attached by rope to a boat driving through the water and we find ourselves holding on for dear life ( with life jackets on and all) on a choppy salty ocean with the wind slashing us in the face as we are jerked from side to side as the stupid driver plays with his steering wheel (our lives in his hands) like its a joke. He would slightly jerk to one side and we immediately all went flying off the boat and smack into the water. I got water all up in my nose and mouth but no injuries occured so I slid back on and hopefully did not flash anybody (my bikini bottoms were not the most apropriate for the occasion but HOW was I to know we would be partaking in such ridiculousness?). Imagine, since I am seated on the back seat of it and imagine this super narrow little floaty thing like a sitting on a giant slippery hot dog in the water with nowhere good to put your feet to keep yourself up because its too narrow and a tiny little grip for your arms. NEXT, the driver jerks it and my leg slips into the water and soon enough my whole body is in the water but my hands are still on the handle so I am literally holding on to the back of the boat as it speeds through the water, my body getting thrashed by the moving waves so forcefully and Allie screaming and laughing at me as I look like a fool. Soon as I know it my bikini bottoms have fallen to my ankles and I knew all hope was lost at that point so I had to let go of the dang banana boat or else I would’ve have come up and flashed everybody, yikes. They had to come back around and get me and it was more of a laughing matter but I was getting a little stressed at that point, plus I cut my knee! So I get back on but instead I am seated second to the front right behind Matthew and our next crash is the end for me. We fly off and somebody’s body, ankle, or some hard part of their body smacks right into my cheekbone and eye and I find myself seconds later plopped in the water with every one els, trying not to cry and cuss at the parent who is lightheartedly sitting on the boat completely unaware of the inconvenience of this whole stupid activity for me. So Allie and I go sit in the boat for the rest of the ride and watch the idiotic boys get thrown off the banana repeatedly, wind tangling my already messed up hair and a thick, grimy layer of sea salt beginning to build up on my skin. Okay not exactly my ideal water activity but whateva.

After the beach we explored the absolutely gorgeous city of Mdina filled with gorgeous alleyways, tons of beautiful colored doors and a huge cathedral. Afterwards we walked around the town square and we got some lunch and then picked up gelato, a delicious mint for me. Of course we chose the restaurant with Wifi and were obsessing over it the whole meal, oh us Americans and our wifi. It’s more important than our well being! Heck we were so desperate for instagram updates and twitter that even after lunch some of them headed over to Mc Donalds (cuz its probably to assume that the most American restaurant in Malta has wifi) to get MORE wifi. I mean come on who needs wifi, we’re in Malta, b****! (as one of the souvenir shirts at a store said). Oh and another interesting thing: when I went to get my icecream/gelato whatever it was I asked to taste test coffee crunch and she dipped in the baby tester spoon and gave me a try. Then I asked for the mint one and she literally took my used sample spoon and dipped it right into the clean mint icecream to give me another sample. Like I don’t know if its wasteful and America to ask for more than one sample and to waste another spoon but I CERTAINLY hope she isn’t putting used spoons into this clean ice cream all the time oy vey. Ignorance is bliss I guess they say. And thats a good thing to go by on these cruises also, especially since the other day they were cleaning SOMETHING up at the dining area with masks on and all, but who knows what exactly it was.

After we boarded the cruise ship, I caught up on blog writing (but not posting of course because no wifi), ate sushi with Allie at the daily 6 o clock sushi buffet which isn’t half bad, showered, did a mini workout, got some chai tea, and even had time for a bit of TV. A productive afternoon followed by a delicious dinner of things like crab cake, red snapper fish, chicken, a carpaccio, and even souffle and some yogurt desert. Nicole snap chatted a pic of each course/meal and its quite amusing and also alarming to see how much we’ve been eating. Afterwards, we went to the bar (Matthew, Susannah and I) and met up with Julie and Connor the pastor’s son. We headed to one of the night clubs because it was 70’s night and me and Susannah really got the fever on the dance floor with the older peeps! We were the only ones getting’ our jive on at certain parts of the night, so we just did our own thing as the oldies watched us from their seats, either enjoying our show or sitting in envy at our awesome moves and youthful energy (probably both). But we DID get some people to stray from their shyness and get up and groove, also! Then we ate some late night pizza with JT, Susannah’s dad and finished the day off with my favorite part of it, meeting Connor’s brother Mason who is absolutely gorgeous. He is tall, thin, extremely fashionable and cute, and so so so handsome. And his Texas accent is literally adorable and wow if only he lived in LA. He is into politics which is cool, but he seemed to be a bit obsessed with America and his dad IS a pastor and definitely a bit close-minded. Oh well nobody’s perfect I guess. Susannah pretty much fell head over heels for him, though! SO right now It’s about 2:30am in my cruise bedroom and I am just catching up on things ya know! I am gonna enjoy some of the daily late night Friends on tv and maybe get some rest. Bonne nuit! (wrong language for this trip)

~xoxo Ali~

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lol @ Will’s face ^^

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people ACTUALLY live in this Silent City!

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just some pretty architecture

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^^^ lol

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^ just a sign displaying all the various types of jellyfish you may find swimming around at the Maltese beach. How lovely :-)

 

 

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